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If you can't take a joke, you are in the wrong section. Mohawk Radio's writing staff has very abnormal personalities, which leads to a very warped sense of humor.

If you have suggestions of some stupid, lame ass celebrities you want to see ridiculed, let us know. We will do it to the best!. If you have an idea of a tag line for the person you are suggesting, include it. Mohawk Suggestions

Mohawks
Jessica Simpson "I am as smart as a bag of hair. When I am not humping Bam and KNoxville in the General Lee I am listening to MohawkRadio!"

- Jessica Simpson
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Ashlee Simpson "I am way happy. Since I got my nose job, I look way less like Owen Wilson in drag. Anyways, when I am not lip syncing and doing a ho-down on Saturday Night Live, I am practicing my lip syncing to Mohawk Radio. The bands are totally awesome!"

- Ashley Simpson
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Eddie Murphy "I don't listen to MohawkRadio as much as I should. I find picking up transvestites in my tight red leather pants to be more enjoyable."

- Eddie Murphy
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Vin Diesel "I listen to the MohawkRadio! I live for that shit! When I am not learning how to talk gooder, I listen MohawkRadio lots."

- Vin Diesel
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Beyonce "Hi I am Be Raunchy, I mean Beyonce! Check me out now before I become a professinal thick thighed waitress. Coming to a Roscoe's or Denny's near you!

- Beyonce
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Sean Penn Uh ... dude...I'm so stoned. When I'm not a part time weapons inspector, I wear checkered van slip-ons and listen to Mohawk Radio."

- Sean Penn
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Justin Timberlake "Whether I am banging Brittany or Cameron, I'm listening to MohawkRadio in my favorite pair of steel wool biking shorts two sizes too small!"

- Justin Timberlake
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Ashton Kutcher "I am the luckiest dumb ass in the whole world! But I guess we are all lucky ' cause MohawkRadio is 24/7. I listen to it while I Punk myself."

- Ashton Kutcher
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Leonardo Dicaprio "MohawkRadio makes me tingly all over! I listen to MohawkRadio really loud on crack cocaine! I only wish Mohawk would play some Celene Dion."

- Leatardo Dicraprio
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Arnold Schwarzenegger "Show me your tits bitch or I will turn off the MohawkRadio and grope you like a nazi. Listen now and smell me later."

- Arnold Schwarzenegger
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O.J. Simpson "I haven't heard MohawkRadio yet because i am too busy killing white people. I heard it is good! Now where be the white women?"

- O.J. Simpson
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Mr T "I pity the fool who doesn't listen to MohawkRadio!!!"

- Mr. T
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Jennifer Lopez "When I'm deciding between white meat or dark, I listen to MohawkRadio. Mohawk Radio plays excellent burrito and taco eating punk rock! i want to shower MohawkRadio with my taco flavored kisses."

- J-Lo
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Eminem "When I'm not Dr. Dre's ass puppet I listen to MohawkRadio. It makes feel heterosexual. Will the Real Slim Shady please shut up!" Maybe if I grab my crotch a few more times people will think I am a black gangster rapper.

- M & M
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Janeane Garofalo "I enjoy MohawkRadio even more than killing puppies and burning flags! I listen to it when ever I have penis envy. Thank God MohawkRadio is 24 hours a day!"

- Janeane Garafalo
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Fonzie "When I'm not bitch slappin Joni or Pinky, I listen to MohawkRadio! Aaaayyyy!"

- The Fonz
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Tom Cruise "I love MohawkRadio. Listening to MohawkRadio makes my life complete....that and my wordhipping of aliens. When I feel a need for speed, I listen to MohawkRadio."

- Tom Cruise
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Judge Judy "I am complete bitch in the courtroom. Mohawk Radio brings out my warm side."

- Judge Judy
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Bill Clinton "When I am not lying to America under oath or cheating on my wife I listen to MohawkRadio....and Satan."

- Bill Clinton
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Grey Davis "I listen to MohawkRadio all the time! I got hooked on MohawkRadio instead of managing the state of California."

- Gray "Gumby" Davis
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Brad Pitt "When I'm not listening to MohawkRadio, me and my homies are talking about it."

- Brad Pitt
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Nicole Kidman "I listen to MohawkRadio all the time! I am possesed...I mean obsessed."

- Nicole Kidman
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Bill O'Reilly "My turn table broke...I couldn't listen to my Germs album or Plasmatics collection. MohawkRadio saved my life!"

- Bill O'Reiley
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Jesse Jackson "I don't know what I like better... Mohawkradio or being a racist....I am pretty sure it is being a racist, buts its close."

- Jessie Jackson
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Jim Carey "I am a very depressed person, but MohawkRadio always makes me smile!"

- Jim Carey
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Hillary Rodam Clinton "I'm really more of a goth chick. But, MohawkRadio always makes me feel sexy and confident to try new hairstlyes!"

- Hillary Clinton
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Tom Daschle "I too am really more of a goth chick, and MohawkRadio always makes me feel less creepy!"

- Tom Daschle
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Collin Powell "Dealing with the French can be frustrating. Cheap gin and MohawkRadio help me forget about those backstabbing assholes!"

- Collin Powell
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Saddam Hussein "Torturing people is my hobby. I don't like music, I don't like MohawkRadio. Music to me is a camel farting!"

- Saddam Hussein
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Donald Rumsfield "MohawkRadio is as much fun as launching missles!"

- Donald Rumsfield
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Montel Williams "I'm self righteous and perfect...just like MohawkRadio!"

- Montel Williams
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